Lisa Gibalerio
With Belmont High School instituting a ban on cell phone use in the classroom this year, many parents are still grappling with how to help their teens develop healthy screen time habits outside of school.
A parent recently asked me:
“This past summer, my teen spent hours at night scrolling on her phone. I had hoped things might change with school starting, but it’s still happening. How can I get her to see that this is not a healthy habit?”
First off, you are not alone in this concern, and your daughter is not alone in her phone habits. The most recent Youth Risk Behavior Survey revealed that 70% of Belmont teens are looking at screens for upwards of four hours a day—on top of time spent doing schoolwork.
We know that excessive screen time can lead to less exercise, reduced sleep, weaker in-person connections, and increased risks of bullying, social stress (like FOMO—Fear of Missing Out), mental health issues (such as anxiety and depression), and exposure to pornography, violence, and sexting.
So, how can you help your teen understand that hours on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and texting aren’t good for them? Here are a few strategies:
- Start with a conversation . Express your concerns without judgment. Are you worried about how much time they spend on the phone, the content they consume, or both?
- Ask for their input : Does she feel like she’s spending too much time on the phone? Let her reflect on her habits.
- Share the data : Review the negative impacts of excessive screen time together and have a discussion about the findings.
- Brainstorm solutions : Collaborate on ways to reduce screen time, like setting specific stop times or designating screen-free evenings.
- Set achievable goals : Work together to create small, realistic steps for cutting back on screen time.
- Create a phone agreement : Consider drafting a cell phone agreement together that outlines reasonable and agreed-upon boundaries.
Change takes time, so it’s important to recognize and reward even small positive shifts in your teen’s behavior. It also helps to connect with other parents to learn what’s working for them. While phones offer benefits, like staying connected with friends, maintaining balance is key. It’s important to model healthy screen habits yourself, or you risk your credibility in working through this issue with your teen.
Ultimately, your daughter needs to realize that the current situation is not good for her. Additionally, most teens need support in changing their habits. You can offer that support and you can be a stand for her in establishing healthier habits.
For more information on creating cell phone/screen time agreements, see: https://www.commonsensemedia.org/.
Lisa Gibalerio, MPH, is the author of the Ask Lisa column, where she answers questions from parents about how to navigate the teen and pre-teen years. Lisa oversees the Belmont Wellness Coalition, a program of Wayside Youth & Family Support Network. The advice provided in this column is for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional care.
If you have a question for Lisa, send it to:
asklisa@belmontvoice.org