She doesn’t even go here!
Rosalind Wiseman, whose book “Queen Bees and Wannabees” inspired the hit 2004 movie “Mean Girls,” is coming to Belmont. She will host a discussion and Q&A session with parents and community members Sept. 16 at Belmont Middle School.
“Part of it is reinforcing why Belmont is a wonderful place to live, and why people can reach out to each other, and how no matter what relationship you are with young people as a teacher, as a parent, as a coach, as a neighbor, as that person who gives the kid the job for mowing their lawn, that every adult is important in children’s lives,” Wiseman said.
Having begun her career as a social-emotional educator, Wiseman is now the author of nine books, and travels around the United States and internationally to speak with parents and kids about adolescent development. Her books “Queen Bees and Wannabees” and “Masterminds and Wingmen” are parenting guides, shining a light on the social dynamics and relationships among teens. Her books, as well as her presentation materials, are reviewed and edited by adolescents, Wiseman said.
She also designs curriculum for schools, calling herself a “bridge” between children and adults.
“Despite our best intentions, adults sometimes say things and do things that make it really hard for young people to listen. As a young person growing up in education, as a professional doing that, what I realized is there was a really large disconnect between what we do and how we design programs for young people,” Wiseman said.
In addition to hosting a panel for adults in Belmont, Wiseman will hold workshops with students and staff at Belmont Middle School. The events are designed to “bring the district and community together,” said BMS Principal Russ Kupperstein.
“I think we can explore more opportunities for the district to engage the wider community in these kinds of topics and take a more active hand in helping to educate and raise the conversation, engage families, and talk about what our kids are experiencing,” he added.
Conversations Between Kids and Parents
As a mother of two children herself, Wiseman said she knows the struggle to find balance when it comes to connecting with young people.
“It feels like it is so hard sometimes to be able to figure out what young people need because it’s scary for them to give us the information that we need to be able to help them, and at the same time, they also want privacy because that’s developmentally appropriate, and increasingly with every generation they have less privacy and more surveillance and more monitoring of their behavior,” Wiseman said.
Though decades have passed since her first books were released and she began her career, Wiseman said in her time speaking with kids, some things never change. The desire for friends, connection, and community remain as strong as ever.
The divide isn’t nearly as wide as some parents may think, but the worst thing she says any adult can say to a child? “I was your age once.”
“We really need to be saying, ‘I know what I was your age once, but I actually don’t know what it’s like to be you because I’m not growing up today in this age. And so, before I give you any advice or guidance, I need to listen to you about what is different, about what this is for you, and that means that you have to trust me to listen to you,’” she said.
The September event is open to both parents and educators, and Wiseman added that any community member is welcome to participate. Having the skills and knowledge to engage with young adults can mean having a great impact on the community as a whole.
“There’s nothing more important than parenting because this is about how we raise children,” she said. “People who live in Belmont, you’ve chosen to be there. You’re a part of a [tight-knit] community. You’re not part of some big community where people don’t know you.”