Sharon Rich measures the duration of her relationship with Nancy Reed in decades—they have been together for 40-plus years and married for 20.
Rich and Reed were among the long line of couples who got married when marriage equality came to Massachusetts in 2004. They waited until June to tie the knot—their daughters had recently had their bat mitzvahs, and another large party seemed like a lot to handle on May 17.
The arrival of marriage equality was, in some ways, unexpected.
“It felt like a wonderful surprise,” Rich said. “We didn’t think we’d ever experience legal marriage, so when we did, it was a relief, a real delight.”
One immediate benefit was the social comfort of the couple’s two children. Now, after years, they could tell everyone their parents were married. It just made life simpler, Rich said.
“The validation of our relationship was delightful,” she said. “And it was more comfortable for them to be able to say, ‘Our parents are married now.”’
That comfort for their children was important, Rich said.
Rich used “validation” several times, talking about the change marriage equality brought to people in Massachusetts. Marriage validated their family in the eyes of some and their status as a couple.
“The relationship [with Reed] did not change significantly because we were committed long before marriage,” she said.
Rich said marriage simplified life for the couple around myriad issues, such as financial matters, including taxes and estate planning.
“Now, we were a family and not just two singles,” she said.
But Rich can remember life before marriage equality when it was, she said, illegal in certain places to be gay. She came out in her home state of Texas.
“I could have lost my job for that, and that’s scary and sad when someone can invalidate your lifestyle with a vote,” she said.
She and Reed ended up in Massachusetts when Reed was exploring grad school. They are now here and could not be happier.
“I just went to my 50th high school reunion. Let’s say I’m pleased I live in Massachusetts,” she said.
The couple lives in Belmont now, enjoying life with three grandchildren. It’s a place Rich is happy to call home. The people here, and in Belmont, are open, caring, and accepting, she said.
“[My daughter] just moved back to Belmont,” she said. “That says a whole lot.”
